A few weeks ago I received a phone call from a dear friend of mine.

It was early in the morning, which led me to think that there might be something wrong.

 

There was.

 

My friend calmly stated that she had been praying for me that morning, and felt it impressed upon her heart to call.

She explained that she had detected some distance and disconnect in our relationship, and wanted to get to the bottom of it so that we could resume our friendship as usual.

 

She wasn’t sure when it started or how it began, but she was desperate to clear the air, if in fact there was something that she had done to cause it.

 

I thanked her for her concern and assured her that there was nothing that she had done to hurt or offend me.

And I meant it.

Both relieved, we casually continued our conversation as usual, and we made plans to reconnect soon.

 

That was the end of it.

 

Except that it wasn’t.

As the days went by, I could not shake the feeling that something was off.

I had noticed the distance between us too, but I honestly just thought it was par for the course.

Our lives had taken us in different directions. We were both in a season of transition; family additions, job changes, different churches, new friendships.

It’s often the reason that we see friends come and go.

It wasn’t bad. It was just…life.

 

But still, as I contemplated, I grew more and more unsettled.

Was there more to this disconnect that we both felt?

Had she done something to unintentionally create distance?

Had I??

 

I was desperate to know.

 

As I took my thoughts to the Lord, a peculiar thing happened. I suddenly became increasingly aware of something that I had not noticed before.

Something ominous.

 

Walls.

 

Large, insurmountable, impenetrable walls.

 

Walls that I had built to keep others out.

 

Walls that I intended to protect me from further assault.

 

Walls that would keep my heart from being torn asunder.

 

Having just come out of a season of immense heartache and pain; betrayed by those I trusted and rejected by those I loved, I had unintentionally built a fortress around my heart.

As I reflected on this, the Lord swiftly reminded me of a story in the Bible where a particular people group were faced with their own kind of wall.

Scripture says, “Now Jericho [a fenced town with high walls] was tightly shut because the people were afraid of the Israelite’s. No one went out, and no one came in.” (Joshua 6:1)

 

Wow, did that sound familiar!

Similar to the people of Jericho, I too was living in fear.

Fear of being hurt, rejected, and ridiculed.

As a result, I had tightly shut the gates of my heart; refusing to open myself up to others. And I certainly wasn’t letting anyone in!

 

But in my effort to self-preserve, I had managed instead, to self-destruct.

These very walls that I had erected, proved to do quite the opposite of my intention.

Instead of removing the heartache, they added to it.

 

Like salt to a wound, these walls exaggerated the existing sore, causing it to fester.

And as it festered, it oozed and inevitably began to infect those around me.

Those closest to me.

 

And I became aware of something else too.

These walls weren’t only keeping my friends and family out. They were also effectively keeping God out.

What’s so troubling about this, is that I didn’t even realize that I was doing it.

 

I wonder if you can relate?

Has the sting of rejection forced your heart behind a wall of protection?

Have you unintentionally built a fortress around yourself, keeping others at arms length?

 

Here’s the thing- we aren’t meant to do life alone. It’s dangerous and unhealthy.

We were created for relationship.

From the very beginning, God said it was not good for man to be alone, and so He created Eve.

In the book of Genesis, it says that God walked among Abraham; calling him a friend.

Even Jesus kept company with His disciples; eating, praying, traveling and ministering together- in relationship.

We were meant to do life together. Not apart.

The good news is- there is help! If you’ve built walls of separation between yourself and others, whether intentionally or not, the Lord is willing to help you begin the process of tearing them down today.

 

So, HOW do we go about doing it?

While I’m not especially fond of “methods,” (a one-size-fits-all approach), because I truly believe that God can, and often does, work in a million of different ways through each of His children, I am however a firm believer in learning from our experiences, and sharing those experiences with one another.

As a result, I’ve included a list of guidelines below; practical steps that greatly helped me deal with my own walls. Perhaps it will bless you too.

I conveniently refer to these steps as the 5 R’s.
 

 

#1. Recognize.

It is important to first recognize any walls we may have built around ourselves. We can’t tend to something that we don’t realize exists.

Scripture says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)

Go to God in prayer and ask Him to examine your heart, and reveal any walls that you have erected regarding your relationships. He will show you. He desires to speak into our life, and He will not withhold wisdom from anyone who sincerely asks.
 

#2. Repent.

If, like me, you become instantly aware of some of these walls, the next important step for us is to repent.        

Again, building walls around our hearts as a means of self-preservation, is not healthy. It only isolates us from others, and from God.                                                                                                                                                                      

The dictionary describes the word repentance as a feeling of contrition, or regret- a change of mind; turning around.                                                                                                                                                                                              

In other words, allow the regret you feel, to change your mind. Decide to move in a different direction. Purpose to begin the hard work of tearing down the walls in your life, instead of continuing to live behind them.

“Repent therefore, and turn back, that your sins may be blotted out.” (Acts 3:19)

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9)

 

#3. Reflect.

Regarding the walls of Jericho, found in the book of Joshua, we read that the Lord had given the Israelite’s specific instructions for tearing down their own walls of separation.

They were to march around the wall of Jericho one time, each day, for six straight days. (Joshua 6:3)

They were also instructed not to speak, or let their voices be heard, during the six days that they marched. (Joshua 6:10)                                                                                                                                                                                            

What do you suppose they were doing as they marched silently around the walls of Jericho? Although it doesn’t exactly say, I personally believe they spent this time in prayer and reflection.

Speaking for myself, I know that when I am facing a mountain that looks impossible to summit, I like to reflect upon who the bible says that God is. As I focus on His attributes, my doubts and fears take a back seat to His power and might.

Throughout the old testament, the Israelite’s were constantly instructed to share their stories of God’s faithfulness from generation to generation. As they reflected on all that God had done in the past, and what He promised to do in the future, their hearts were strengthened.

They had many powerful stories of God’s provision to reflect upon.

And I believe that’s exactly what they did.

Open the Word of God. See what is has to say about His goodness, faithfulness, mercy and love.

Reflect upon His many attributes, and the stories of His provision, and see if you aren’t strengthened and encouraged too.

 

#4. Roar. 

On the seventh and final day, the Israelite’s were commanded to march silently around the walls of Jericho until they heard the sound of a ram’s horn.        

“When the people heard the sound of the rams’ horns, they shouted as loud as they could. Suddenly, the walls of Jericho collapsed, and the Israelite’s charged straight into the town and captured it.” (Joshua 6:20)

An unlikely strategy that produced miraculous results.

When all else fails, SHOUT!

Lift up your battle cry. Speak to that mountain. Determine to make those walls fall.

You may be wondering what this looks like in practical terms?

Well for me, it means speaking the Word of God, OUT LOUD, over my situation.

It may feel forced at first, but as you continue with this practice, you will find that you will grow in strength and resolve. Faith will build, and those walls begin to collapse.

 

#5. Repeat.

Lastly, it’s important to acknowledge that the building of the walls around ourselves, and others, is a process.

One

Brick

At

A

Time.

And so tearing them down, will be as well. It may not happen all at once. It might require you to march around that wall six or seven times, before it finally falls. Revisit and repeat these steps as often as necessary. 

I am still a work in progress. Do any of us fully arrive this side of heaven?

I cannot say that I have completely let down my walls as of yet, but I am getting stronger every day. Sometimes it feels like I’m taking one step forward and two steps back. If this is you too, don’t be discouraged.

Deep wounds take time to heal. It is hard to trust in the goodness of people again.

But the important thing is that we don’t give up. There is One who is trustworthy.

His name is Jesus.

Dear ones, you’re one step closer today, than you were yesterday. And the end result will be SO WORTH IT!

 

*If you would like prayer, in regards to this message, I would love to pray with you!

Remember- we are better together!*