Welcome to the Overcoming Insecurity series! This is a 4 part, weekly series and collaboration of 4 inspiring women, joining together to encourage those of us who wrestle with insecurity.

That’s all of us, right?! 

Please join us each Wednesday for our new series!

 

Chronic Insecurity & the Truth that Will Set You Free

Be Thee Inspired | Milk & Honey Faith | Blue Jean Gypsy | Beauty in My Brokenness

 

I have always been an introspective person. My mother told me that even as a toddler I would carefully observe those around me and attempt to copy what they were doing.

While this particular trait has helped me learn and grow in certain areas of life, it has also managed to become a stumbling block.

 

As I grew, I continued to observe the behavior of others- their actions, their verbiage, their gestures, their wardrobe, their friends, etc. The things that made them uniquely THEM.

Only, now I began copying- not out of a desire to learn– but out of my desire to belong.

I thought that if I only acted more like the girls on the playground that seemed to exude unnatural confidence- without a care in the world, unafraid to be themselves, refusing to look to others for approval- then perhaps I too would start to feel more confident.

And maybe then, I would feel like I belonged.

 

This behavior continued well into my teen years.

I have vivid memories of myself standing in front of a mirror, trying to copy the exact behavior of my best friend at the time. I mimicked her gestures, her laugh, the various tones in her voice, and the common phrases she frequently used.

I was so uncomfortable in my own skin that I LITERALLY tried to become someone else.

What’s so peculiar about all of this is that I was not an unpopular kid. Quite the opposite actually.

I had many friends growing up, was well liked by my peers and teachers alike, had a solid church upbringing, and parents who loved me well.

I had been voted most-attractive, and best personality, in school.

There is no doubt that I was considered a part of the “in” crowd. So, why did I feel so lost?

 

Unfortunately, my insecurities didn’t wane with time, but only continued to grow, and eventually led me down an even darker path.

My lack of knowing who I was, caused me to evolve into someone I was not.

I had been the good girl, and still felt so dissatisfied and unfulfilled, so I thought perhaps becoming the bad girl would do the trick.

I soon immersed myself in the company of peers whose influence was less than appealing.

These new friends of mine couldn’t care less about what others thought of them.

They acted how they wanted, went where they wanted, spoke how they wanted, did what they wanted.

People left them alone. And I admit, that for a time, I felt so free.

No more worrying about what others thought of me. I was the bad girl now, and bad girls don’t care.

No more trying to measure up.

No more working so hard at gaining and keeping friends.

No more striving to live up to others’ expectations.

No more facade.

And it felt good!

 

The problem is that THIS isn’t who I was either. Sure it was freeing for a time, but eventually that feeling of belonging began to fade, and the emptiness resurfaced.

I was a girl without a clue.

I couldn’t be who I was, because I didn’t KNOW who I was.

I wonder if you can relate?

Eventually, I got to a point where I just wanted to escape. I was tired of the labels.

The “good girl” label- people-pleaser, popular one, goody two shoes.

The “bad girl” label- negative influence, party-er, teen mom.

I longed for escape, and fortunately for me, I found it in my new relationship.

 

My husband and I met when I was 18. Both longing to escape our tattered pasts, we decided to move to a small, rural town, an hour outside of where we grew up.

We didn’t know anybody, and nobody knew us. It was perfect.

For the first time, we felt like we had a chance at a new life. A complete re-do.

Not long after we settled in to our new home, we began attending a nearby church. Slowly, over time, and through many hardships, the Lord began to reveal the depth of my insecurities.

I couldn’t see it then, but God knew the stronghold that they had on my life.

Although continuing to grow in my faith, my insecurities rendered me utterly useless. I was so wrapped up in what others thought- longing for their acceptance and approval– that I refused to move out into the calling God had for me.

Anyone who has wrestled with insecurity knows that it effects all aspects of your life. Nothing goes untouched. 

It effects your confidence, self worth, relationships, calling, opportunities, parenting, decisions, job, ministry, influence, etc.

Insecurity- if you didn’t know– closely resembles fear. And Fear is a liar!!

It will tell you that you’re not good enough, or talented enough, or knowledgeable enough, or pretty enough.

It will inject questions like, What if I might mess up? What if others don’t accept me? What if I look like a fool?

Caring too much about what people think, will keep you from moving forward. Stuck in the mud of insecurity.

Over time, God began showing me the importance of knowing, believing and PROCLAIMING the truth of who I am in Christ!

The revelation and practice of this truth transformed my life!

For the first time ever, I was able to walk in the confidence that I so badly craved- not because of who I was on my own– but because of who I was IN HIM.

I was accepted and acceptable.

I was forgiven and righteous.

I was loved and cherished.

I was a part of the family of God.

And at last, I felt as though I BELONGED.

 

Although I’d like to say with certainty that this was the end of the story- I would be lying.

Living with chronic insecurity is a battle. It is a constant cutting away at the lies that have made a home in our hearts. It is often a painful and discouraging process.

There are days when I feel like I should be WAY farther along than I am. And there are days when I simply feel like giving up. The journey to freedom is exhausting!

I am convinced that God allowed me to broken down and stripped bare, in order that He could build me back up again- but this time– on a solid foundation.

On my worst of days, I remind myself that we are all a work in progress. There is not one who can say that they’ve fully arrived. (This side of heaven)

I extend myself the same amount of grace that I would extend to my fellow brothers or sisters.

And I continue to fight the good fight of faith.

I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us. (Philippians 3:14)

 

Though I may not be where I want to be just yet, I’m ever thankful for a heavenly Father who loves me too much to leave me where I’m at!

I’m so thankful that He continues to pursue me- regardless of my stubbornness.

And I’m thankful that His love knows no bounds. Indeed He would leave the ninety-nine just to rescue me!

 

Insecurity might be something I have to confront head on, for the rest of my life, but it doesn’t have to define me.

I am not what others think of me. I am not what satan whispers to me. I am not what my past says of me.

I AM who God says that I am, and that’s good enough for me!

 

 

What about you? Do you see yourself in any part of this message? If so, I have an awesome Resource Bundle for you below!!

Whether you are someone who struggles with insecurity on a regular basis, or someone who struggles every so often, this package will help to set your mind on the things of Christ.

It is fully designed to remind you on a daily basis, of just who HE SAYS you are!!

This bundle is my FREE gift to you, so grab it today!

 

XOXO, Rachel

 

---

 

**A note to my linkup friends: We will be taking a short break through the month of June, from our regular Spotlight Feature, in order that I can spotlight the three lovely ladies who have collaborated with me on our Overcoming Insecurity series. We will resume our regular Building Community Spotlight again, in July.

In the meantime, I’m glad you’re here! Please continue to linkup your inspiring posts below, as I still intend to visit each one, and share them with my tribe!**

 

Let's link arms by linking up! Join us at #destinationInspiration where we are sharing our inspiring messages among a community of friends! #linkup Share on X