Are you ready to be free of your insecurities?
Last week I wrote a message on the subject of comparison. If you missed it, you can catch it here.
Apparently, this is a subject that resonates with women on a grand scale.
I can understand why.
I have spent much of life drowning in my own insecurities. Measuring myself against the backdrop of others’ achievements, appearances, giftings, possessions, and relationships.
Consider the following scenario’s. Can you find yourself in any of them?
Scenario #1. A co-worker is praised for a job well done, and instantly you begin to question your value.
“When was the last time my boss complimented me?” “Am I at risk of being demoted?” “What can I do to prove that I am a necessary part of this team?”
Instead of celebrating your peer’s success, you start grasping for something- ANYTHING, that proves your worth as an employee.
Scenario #2. You’re invited to a friend’s house for a picnic, and while there, you notice how kind and polite her children are to one another. Please and thank you’s, yes ma’am and no ma’am’s, are a regular part of their vocabulary.
Meanwhile, just a few feet away, two of your children are spotted arguing over a toy, each insisting that they had it first! Embarrassment sweeps across your face.
“Where did I go wrong?” “Why can’t my children behave like hers?” “I must be a terrible mother.”
Scenario #3. You are given the chance to attend a writer’s conference. Because you’re attempting to stretch and grow in your profession, you contemplate the decision.
Imagining yourself entering a massive room occupied by hundreds of aspiring authors, you immediately feel out of place. Everyone looks so put together. So professional.
The women, in your mind’s eye, appear to have walked out of a fashion magazine. Makeup and nails colored to match their designer clothes. Not a strand of hair out of place. They walk with an air of confidence, greeting one another excitedly as they make their way to their seats.
You, on the other hand, nervously scan the room, locating every possible means of escape, should you become too uncomfortable. The idea alone, makes you squirm.
“I don’t belong there,” you think to yourself. “What can I possibly have to offer that isn’t already being covered by any one of the multi-talented women in my imagination?”
And so you stay home instead.
How do I know so much about this subject? Because I am she.
Every one of the stories above illustrates a point in my life when my insecurities threatened to derail me, and I fell headlong into the sin of comparison.
Wait a minute. Did she really just say the sin of comparison? You bet I did!
Comparing ourselves to those around us not only keeps us in bondage to feelings of inferiority, but it also keeps us from fulfilling the calling of God on our own lives.
If our eyes are so focused on the accomplishments of our sisters next to us, how can we possibly be of any good to the task that is before us?
Measuring our worthiness against the achievements of others is a dangerous game.
We will always lose.
There will always be someone who is younger, prettier, smarter, more talented, experienced, and confident than we are.
Measuring our worthiness against the achievements of others is a dangerous game. We will always lose! #truth #inChristalone Share on X
The danger in not knowing the truth of our own value, is that we quickly become crippled by our insecurities, causing us to be distracted, discouraged, discontent, depressed and defeated.
It’s all too tempting to view the women beside us as our greatest threat, but the reality is we should be viewing them as our strongest allies!
Instead of competing against one another, we ought to be celebrating one another.
The problem is it’s far easier to be the one whose dream has already become a reality- encouraging the women alongside us– than it is to be the one who is still striving to see her dream come to fruition.
Watching others live their dream, only serves as a reminder that we are not. And it’s devastating.
It’s humiliating to admit, but I have a tendency to act like there’s not possibly enough favor to go around- as if another’s success automatically cancels my own.
I argue that God must be holding out on me.
Ludicrous, I know!
What if a co-worker was given a promotion? Does that mean there’s not still room enough for me?
Is God not a God of abundance?
Does He not own a cattle on a thousand hills?
Are His resources not unlimited?
It’s imperative that we ditch this poverty mindset, if we are to succeed in slaying the dragon of insecurity in our lives?
Just how exactly do we go about doing that? God’s Word is our instruction manual.
Consider the following scripture:
“Let everyone be sure he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done, and won’t need to compare himself with someone else. Each of us must bear some faults and burdens of his own. For none of us is perfect!” (Galatians 6:4-5)
Be our best selves.
Concentrating our efforts on doing the very best we can with the gifts that God has given us will help to shift our eyes from others-centered, to Christ-centered.
In turn, we will find satisfaction in living a life of purpose.
None of us is perfect.
There is not one who is perfect, except for Christ. Not one!
This means that your friend who appears to have it all together- skinny, super-model pretty, beautiful house, caring husband, obedient children, lots of friends, etc- still is not perfect. Because none of us are.
Our perceptions can be tainted, but make no mistake, even the “perfect” ones have struggles just like the rest.
How low can you go?
I’ve always been a fan of the popular party game, Limbo.
The object of this game is to try and pass under the limbo stick without making contact with it. With each turn the stick is lowered, making it more and more difficult. The lower you go, the better off you are!
The person who can lower themselves under the stick, the most, is declared the winner.
This reminds me of a fascinating piece of scripture where Jesus’ disciples are heard arguing over who among them is the greatest.
Jesus, knowing their thoughts, rebuked them by uttering these words:
“Whoever is the least among you, is the greatest.” (Luke 9:37)
In other words, the lower we go, the higher we rise!
This certainly is not the world’s way of looking at things, but then again, we’re not of the world, are we? (John 17:16)
The lower we go, the higher we rise! #kingdommindset #howlowcanyougo Share on X
Famous author, Beth Moore, writes:
“Insecurity will rob us of some of the richest woman-to-woman relationships of our lives. It turns potential friends into competitors.” ~So Long Insecurity
When I first started this blog, I sat down and I wrote out the vision God had given me.
Here is a small excerpt:
I have a vision.
A vision of BIG things, but not impossible things.
A vision of women, both young and old, rich and poor, broken and whole, coming together, united in spirit, for one purpose- love.
A vision of women- driven, confident, bold, storming the streets of their communities, speaking life, demolishing hate, breeding hope.
I have a vision of community- in its purest form…
A community that is safe.
Where women fight for one another, not against each other.
Where judgement wanes, and forgiveness flows.
A community where relationships are cultivated.
Where we can be transparent, vulnerable and authentic.
Where we encourage one another in our struggles, and celebrate together in our triumphs.
Read my vision for the women of God in it’s entirety, here.
Don’y you want that too?
Sisters, won’t you join me in breaking the chains of insecurity, and embracing individuality instead?
Rather than allow our insecurities to cause us to compete with one another, how about we shock the world by celebrating one another instead?
Let us stop thinking of how we measure up against the women next to us, and simply bloom where God has planted us?
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be known as the gal who was so busy promoting herself, that she failed to lift up her fellow sisters.
What say you?
Who can you encourage today?
How can you celebrate the women next to you?
What do you need to lay down, so that your hands are free to lift up another?
There are so many reasons to celebrate the women next to us.
Let’s begin today!
And now for our featured writer!
Meet Michele Morin!
Quote Love:
“Normal conversation involves back and forth between two people, and talking with God is no different.”
“We are immersed in a culture that encourages us to inflate our wants until they take on the dimensions of a need.”
And my personal fave>>> “By turning our attention purposefully toward God in the midst of our ordinary days, we demolish the wall between sacred and secular.” ~Michel Morin
Michele’s blog post, Everyday Habits of Holiness, is filled with rich truth!
It was challenging to pick just one quote to display from her article, (as you can clearly see). She truly hit the nail on the head with her carefully crafted words.
Our everyday mundane moments CAN become habits of holiness!
There is so much I appreciated about Michele’s suggestions to take notice of such moments and choose to seize the day!
To read Michele’s inspiring post, follow this link. You’ll be glad you did!
Thanks for sharing with us this week, Michele! Feel free to grab the “featured” button, if you so choose.
Let's link arms by linking up! Join us today for the #destinationInspiration linkup! Share your most inspiring posts, and meet some truly wonderful writer's while you're at it! #linkup #bloghop #faithbloggers Share on X
I’m glad I stopped by, dear Rachel. Your post encouraged me to stop comparing and to invite God to accomplish His will in my life.
Blessings ~ Wendy Mac
Awesome! That’s what I’m going for! 😉
this is the best spell caster i know He cast spells for different purposes like(1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dream
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) HIV/AIDS CURE
(10) is the only answer to that your problem of winning the lottery
Contact him today on oseremenspelltemple@gmail.com
Be our best selves sounds good on paper – wrote about that today in fact, but sometimes I just want to eat chips and read a novel. sigh. thanks for your real and godly encouragement! I do not know how you have time to write! and to do it so well. x. s.
There is a time and a season for everything- including chips and a novel! ;0)
Thanks for your sweet words, Sue!
It’s so easy to get into the comparison game and not even realize it. the “I wish I was different” drum beats in our heads so loudly that it drowns the beauty of what we ARE. Thanks for this great reminder that God loves us as we are, but continues to change us every day and transform us by His grace into what we can be … and that is, like Him!
Yes! So perfectly worded, Karen! Always appreciate your insight and perspective. <3
I’m definitely growing in this area! It’s so easy to compare, but I have found celebrating each other to be such a good remedy! What would we do with out each other and our cheerleaders? 🙂
It is a good remedy, isn’t it? We are each others BEST cheerleaders- if only we would realize it!
Thanks for sharing, Dewi.
Loved this, so timely! Every scenario you mentioned is one I’ve delt with! I’ve even posted a blog about NOT doing the very thing my mind does. We all need work. As you said, only Jesus is perfect. I tend to feel I need more work than most. 🤦🏼♀️
Oh, that sounds like a blog post I need to read! Thanks for your honesty. I bet you’d be surprised at how many of “us” there are. You’re definitely not alone! 🙂
Such an important topic to talk about– thank you for this! Yes, we will always lose when we compare ourselves to others. I love the quote you mentioned, “Celebrate the beauty in others without questioning your own.” Good read!
Always a losing game- comparison. Thanks for the kind encouragement! <3
Rachel, thank you for sharing my post here and for your kind words. I was so thankful to be able to think and write about the disciplines that anchor me in truth and in relationship with God.
I also appreciate the vision you share here through your writing.
I think we’re on the same page.
You bet! I truly enjoyed your article. It inspired me to make some changes in my own daily habits.
So glad you are here! 🙂
I can definitely resonate with #3 on the comparison list! It’s so hard to remember, but I’ve been learning more and more how God sometimes entrusts us with just a little, and that’s OK. It doesn’t mean He won’t entrust us with more later, but we need to be faithful with what we have. Thanks for these reminders!
Wise words, Emily! I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for visiting each week. I truly enjoy reading your articles! <3
Thank you for this encouragement. I am reminded of this same battle in my life. This comparing ourselves to others robs us of the unique us that God made us! Good words, Rachel. Thank you!
(Stopping by from #HeartEncouragement)
Very true, Rachel! (Love the name btw) 😉 We are each uniquely designed by God for a purpose that is only our own. Why compare?
Glad you stopped in this morning!
Rachel,
Love this post! You hit the nail on the head with this one. I am currently praying for a co-laborer who admitted to me yesterday how she is struggling with this very thing.
This is my favorite line in this post.
It’s all too tempting to view the women beside us as our greatest threat, but the reality is we should be viewing them as our strongest allies!
Sharing this everywhere today! <3 Misty
You’re so sweet, Misty! Thank you for your encouragement and support. We are definitely better TOGETHER!!! <3
Praying God gives you wisdom to help your friend process through the insecurities, and come out victorious!
Great topic. Great reminder. Yes, we women need to start thriving and blooming where we are. No more comparison.
Yup, I went to a writer’s conference (scenario 3) the first night in my raspberry capris and blue flowered top and all the ladies entered in skinny jeans and flowy tops and high heels and boy did I feel out of place. Like I hadn’t gotten the dress memo for the night that all the other ladies had gotten. In my earlier days I would have been bothered by it, but I finally had a good talking to myself and just decided to enjoy the night. By the time I got home I was able to laugh about it. Laughing about things has helped me through many of life’s hiccups.
I love this story Theresa! Thanks for sharing it. I can totally relate- I frequently feel out of place. But I love how you were able to turn things around by simply adjusting your attitude. Sometimes a “good self-talking to” is just what we need! Laughter is the best medicine!
So glad you visited and commented today! 🙂
Such an important reminder. We’re laborers together with Jesus – He’s the only one who gets first place. It’s a beautiful thing when we find that unity of spirit that frees each of us to give our best, to do what we were gifted to do without fear. Thank you for sharing!
“Unity of Spirit that FREES each of us to give our best!” Love that! We are to spur one another on in the faith.
Thanks for your wise words this morning. 🙂
Love it Rachel. This is so important for us to understand. I also am encouraged that I am not the only one that struggles with this.
Definitely not alone! Thanks for the encouragement Dawn!
Yes! This is a mic-drop right here, my friend. So, so, so true. Wonderful word today for the sisterhood, thank you. — P.S.) If you happen to be at the newer She Speaks conference (the Sept. one) this year, let me know, because you’ll have a friend there already! (It is hard to put yourself out there in those types of situations. The first year I went to She Speaks I went alone, and it wasn’t easy. ((hug)) )
Oh how FUN that would be! I don’t know that I’ll get a chance to go this year, but if I do, you better believe I’ll let you know! 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement Brenda!
Rachel – such a great post again today! You are really resonating and striking a chord in women’s hearts. I fully believe this post will be as popular as last weeks. Thanks for linkup up at #TuneInThursday and for hosting a linkup of your own too. I am so glad I stumbled upon the fact that you host one as well. This couple of sentences hit home: “It’s all too tempting to view the women beside us as our greatest threat, but the reality is we should be viewing them as our strongest allies!” It took me a few years to figure this one out, but the truth is, there is more than enough to go around and we should be for each other not against one another. Thank you for such encouragement!
Absolutely right Debbie! Glad you found me! It was an honor to be featured on your blog this week! 🙂
This is so true: “Instead of competing against one another, we ought to be celebrating one another.” I know I’ve let myself miss out on things periodically because of my own insecurities. It’s a losing battle to play that comparison game. Thanks for encouraging us to step away from it.
I’ve missed out on things too, Lisa. 🙁 Darn those insecurities that rage war regularly. The more I am rooted in God’s Word, the less a those insecurities rear their ugly head. Thanks for visiting!
What a great vision for your blog! I love it and feel the Lord calling me to link arms more!
And I have felt all 3 of those examples! Great point that this intimidation keeps us from what the Lord is calling us to and will equip us for.
Yes!!! Love that you feel the Lord’s gentle nudging to link arms! It’s truly something that has been on my mind more and more. We truly ARE better together! So glad you’re here, Jennifer! <3
So much Amen to this. I’ve been struggling with that balance of self promotion vs striving to work whole heartedly for the Lord but this sentence got be good… “I don’t know about you but I don’t want to be known as the gal too busy promoting herself , that she failed to lift up her fellow sister.”
I am definitely going to be asking myself if there is something I need to lay down specifically so that I can lift someone else up. Wow!
Awesome JD! Love to hear that! Me too! 🙂
Well said and relatable Rachel! I have been that woman too and have to guard about it continuously. I began to pray for those I felt competitive with and inwardly chose to die to self as I decided they could “win” because I was not going to strive to compete any longer. I’m a recovering perfectionist so this resonates with me. The freedom I have enjoyed the last few years has been so worth the struggle to break free. I can resort back in a heartbeat though so I have learned to trace back my feelings of insecurity to nip it quick.
Hi, did you know there are spells to win love back from an ex. I have done it. I love reading about relationships and how to make them work, how to better the relationship, and how to keep the spark alive, even how to talk to them a certain way to get them to think a different way about the situation and you. If you need advice or want to win your ex back, try DR EMU copy and message on the following ( Email: emutemple@gmail.com ) or ( WhatsApp: +2347012841542 ) It will change your mentality and get you what you want.