Y’all the busyness of this season has me like whaaaaat?!?!
We literally JUST said goodbye to November, and hello to December, and ALREADY I am feeling the overwhelm!
You too?
Let me give you a quick synopsis of my crazy right now…
Today alone, I have a mound of laundry to fold and put away. And more laundry to wash. Thus starting the vicious, unending cycle all over again. Isn’t that the exact definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results? Lord, help me…
I have a kitchen disaster awaiting my attention from the night before, when we were all too tired to worry about the mess. Yet seeing as I am the only adult home during the day, I am the only one experiencing the long-term effects of our hasty decision to forego cleaning the night before. Go figure.
I have 3 not-so-fun phone calls to make:
- One to the insurance company about the school bus that sideswiped my van while I was picking the kids up from school.
- Another to the credit card company who called to inform me that there was suspicious activity on my account that requires my immediate attention.
- And another to our health insurance who just sent us a bill for an OBSCENE amount, directly after we just paid the existing balance to zero.
For the love…
I have dinner to plan and meat to thaw.
I have a sick child at home who needs her mama, and an infant child who can’t seem to stay out of every-lovin-thing she’s not supposed to touch!
I have bills to pay, gifts to buy, and parties to plan.
There are school concerts to attend, emails to send, and blog posts to write.
Not to mention all of the holiday activities beginning to crowd my calendar.
And somewhere in the midst of it all, I am somehow supposed to enjoy the holiday season, AND make it joyful for the rest of my family, to boot!
And I ask…HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT ALL?!
True to Rachel fashion, I frantically cried out to God.
“God, help me. I can’t do this. How am I supposed to maintain my sanity? Who am I, SUPERWOMAN?”
But then it dawned on me that if I actually wanted His help, I would have to pause long enough to hear Him respond. Otherwise, I’m merely just ranting.
So, I did. And in the quiet, the Lord in all his goodness, gave me 6 simple steps to implement in order to ditch the overwhelm this holiday season.
Perhaps these will benefit you too.
Slow Down
Stop. Take a deep breath and let it out sloooowly. Clear your mind. Give room for the Holy Spirit to fill you.
Very often when I’m staring down my list of to-do’s, I get this idea that I need to do it all right now!
Although there is something gratifying about checking items off of a list, the reality is I work myself up by trying to get it all done in a hurry. The anxiety builds and the stress takes hold.
If we can practice slowing our pace, it will not only help to decrease the overwhelm, but we will find that things get done in a timely manner. One task at a time.
Which leads me to the next point-
Do What You Can, and Ditch What you Can’t
Let’s face it- we CAN’T do it all. There simply is not enough time in our days to do everything.
Oh, we like to think that we can. Perhaps it feeds something within ourselves; makes us feel worthy, special, or important. (Or maybe that’s just me). Either way, we must eventually come to the realization, that there are some things that are okay to say no to.
Make yourself a list of all the things. Then, one by one, ask yourself these questions:
First, is this necessary to do? For example, a dentist appointment is necessary, however the school cookie exchange probably is not.
Secondly, is this mine to do? There might be some things on your list that are necessary to do, but maybe not necessary for YOU to be the one to do it. There’s a subtle difference between the two, but it can make all the difference in the world!
In the same way that we delegate chores within the home, think of what tasks you can delegate to others.
So maybe the cookie exchange IS important to you. What can you do to take the load off a bit?
Can you purchase store-bought cookies instead of making them from scratch? Can your child help to divvy the cookies up into individual packages, instead of you? Can you send the cookies to school with your child, instead of hand-delivering them yourself?
Think of ways you can delegate the items that can’t be removed from your to-do list. In this way, you will free yourself up from the overwhelm that quickly seeps in.
Drop the Guilt
There’s a reason why this step follows the last. If you’re anything like me, you might begin to feel guilty about all of the “stuff” you’re turning down. You may feel like a bad mom, or a bad friend, or a bad host.
DON’T GO THERE!
Satan is the author of condemnation. As believer’s we’ve been freed from that nonsense.
“Therefor there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”- Romans 8:1
Lay that burden down. Release it. In the words of Elsa, “let it go.”
Your worth is not found in all that you accomplish.
Did you hear that? Allow me to say it again.
Your accomplishments DO NOT determine your worth.
You have every right to enjoy this holiday season as much as the next person. So, step off the crazy train, drop the guilt and simply REFUSE to pick it back up again.
Make Time for the Lord
This may sound counterproductive, yet I can assure you that it’s quite the opposite.
In my own experience, any time I’ve tried to skimp on my time with God, I ended up frazzled, frustrated, and frantic.
However, on the days when I give Him the time He deserves, everything else falls into place. Imagine that!
I know it can be hard to do, especially when you are facing deadlines, time constraints and whatnot, but it is the only way.
When we give of our first fruits, God does the miraculous by multiplying our minutes. It doesn’t make any sense, but it’s not supposed to. That’s what a miracle is- a surprising event that defies scientific law and is considered a divine work. BOOM!
Don’t neglect the most important thing. Schedule it, if you have to. (Might I suggest first thing in the morning.) And see how God performs a miracle on your behalf.
Even if you don’t accomplish all that was on your list, you’ll most likely find that what wasn’t completed, suddenly lost its urgency. Perhaps God knew that all along…;)
Kick Comparison to the Curb
Believe me, I KNOW the struggle.
Pinterest, Facebook, and Instagram all know how to make us feel like utter failures when we don’t live up to their standards.
With images of whimsical winter decorations, fun family photos, and creative Christmas cards, gracing our screens every few minutes, it is easy to fall headlong into the comparison trap.
Just earlier this week, I heard myself pouting about all of the beautiful things my friends have that I don’t. (On the heels of Thanksgiving weekend, mind you). Seriously Rachel??
Thankfully the Holy Spirit gave me a swift kick in the butt, and I was able to ditch my stinkin thinkin!
No, I will probably never have a pristine Noble Christmas tree with beautiful glass ornaments and twinkling white lights. Instead, we traditionally put up an affordable Douglas Fir, decorated with hard plastic ornaments and multi-colored lights. Because, you know, kids…
We might not ever capture that fairytale family photo to send to all of our loved ones on a picture perfect Christmas card. Let’s face it, with a family of our size, we’re lucky to get everyone looking at the camera, let alone smiling!
Our gifts are typically wrapped in cartoon character paper, and labeled with a black permanent marker.
Our Christmas decor consists of paper chains and hand-cut snowflakes strung throughout the house.
Our festive holiday cookies resemble something out of a kindergarten class, rather than a magazine.
And you know what? It’s okay. In fact, it’s more than okay! In the words of those who have gone before me, “you’re gonna miss this when it’s gone.”
Deep down, I know they’re right! So, while my Christmas may not be exactly insta-worthy, it is everything I could ever want and more! Life may not be perfect, but it is pretty darn good. 🙂
Proof of our Christmas decor. Those cute little paper chains and snowflakes are displayed all throughout the house.
*And you thought I was joking.*
Presence vs Presents
This year especially, I am really trying hard to focus on giving the gift of presence vs presents. (You should have seen the look of horror on my kids’ faces when I told them.) 😉
No, that does NOT mean I won’t be giving out gifts this year.
Yes, it DOES mean that I won’t be swept away in the gift-buying craze. Hallelujah!
I plan to be more aware of how I spend my time, and more intentional about giving my time to those I love.
When someone close to us passes on, or moves away, it’s not common to look back and say, “boy, I sure wish I had been given more gifts.” How absurd.
No, we wish we had been given more time.
Time to talk. Time to laugh. Time to play.
Time to make memories. Time to snuggle. Time to give and receive love.
Over the Thanksgiving week, I challenged myself to put down my phone, only picking it up to take the occasional picture, or late at night after everyone was asleep. I thought that I would struggle with this more than I did.
With each passing day, I was pleased to find that it not only got easier, but it made my time more enjoyable as well.
I intend to do the same as we draw closer to Christmas.
This week, the children and I made a list of ways that we can spend quality time together.
Here are a few of our ideas that made the list:
- Make a gingerbread house.
- Attend the town Christmas parade.
- Watch our favorite Christmas movies together.
- Bake cookies and deliver them to our neighbors.
- Wrap presents while listening to our fave holiday mix.
- Visit a local light display.
- Give the gift of Christmas to a family in need.
- Play a few rounds of cards.
- Bell-ring for the Salvation Army.
- Visit with great-grandma.
These are just a few ideas. I’m sure we will add more to this list as the month goes on.
The important thing is that we be intentional about giving the gift of presence, because although often taken for granted, it REALLY IS a gift!
What about YOU? How do you intend to ditch the overwhelm this season? I’d love to hear your ideas!
Awesome post, Rachel. Packed with so many great tips. I think my favorite is the gift of presence over presents. My husband spoke about this in his sermon yesterday. And I’m taking all your tips to heart this year. Thank you!
Thank Karen. It seems to be a common theme on a timely message. Fine minds think alike. 🙂
This is a great post Rachel. So often we think we just have to get it all done…even if it kills us. Love the practical steps you shared.
“Slow down” love that one. Something I’m learning to do.
Blessings
Yes, Lureta, you and me both! In today’s fast-paced society, it can be challenging to train ourselves to simply slow down. But contrary to the beliefs of today, this season requires me to slow my roll, in order to savor the beauty the holidays have to offer.
Praying you are able to rest this season, as well. 🙂
Yes for presence! Sometimes I have to slow down, look a child in the eye, and be in the moment. They want to talk about Santa, holiday lights, and all the fun. And when I slow down I get questions like this from a darling little girl at church. I was teaching about Christ and his birth and she asked: “Why of all the babies in the world, why is Jesus so special?” What a precious question and I was so glad I slowed down to let her ponder and ask her questions. We had a great discussion about why that left her smiling and me with gratitude in my heart. Thanks for the reminder.
Thanks for sharing this, Cheryl! I just love stories like that. Sometimes it takes all we have to be “in the moment.” But isn’t it so important, and SO worth it?! I often wonder how many special moments like the one you mentioned, pass us by because we are so very distracted. It makes me sad to think that I do this, and yet I know that I’m guilty of it.
This season especially, I want to be intentional about being present in the moment.
So glad to connect with you, Cheryl! <3
Sitting at Jesus’ feet is my tried and true way to ditch overwhelm. Now if only I can find time to do that! 🙂
Thanks for your honest, Rachel. It feels good to know that I’m not alone!!!
Blessings to you and yours this holiday season.
I know, right?! I hear that! Lol Making the time for Jesus can be so difficult, but I always feel SO refreshed when I do! Knowing that then, SHOULD make the next time easier…
Thanks for stopping by, Marva! Blessings right back at ya. 😉
Rachel I love this. It sounds straight out of my own home. I love this line, “But then it dawned on me that if I actually wanted His help, I would have to pause long enough to hear Him respond.” This is exactly what he is teaching me (and has been even more so over the past 3 years.) What a delight to know we have permission to slow down and really focus on what (and WHO) matters most. I realize when we live this way, the people we come across will get the best of us, not the worst.
Yes! I love your last thought- people we come across will get our very best when we spend much-needed time with Jesus!
Glad I’m not alone. 😉 Thanks for visiting Meghan!
This is so perfect and exactly what I needed today! I need to simply “slow down.” Thank you for this reminder!
Thanks Keisha! I think we all can use a reminder to slow down, during this season especially. 😉
Girl, we’re tracking on the same rail this week! My husband and I cut quite a few expectations this year. We seriously needed a break. It’s been the best December yet and really eye-opening to consider that post from this time last year. Turns out I’m capable of learning yet! haha Many blessings to you this Advent Rachel.
Meg, that’s AWESOME! So the discipline of sloooowing way down DOES work then? Hooray!
I think my busy is right here in these first two weeks of December. After that, it should take a nice breather…I look forward to it!
Glad to connect with you this week! 🙂
Great post, Rachel. So relateable and real! I don’t know if you do videos, but your storytelling is so good, I’d love to see you on screen!
Sarah, funny you should mention that. My husband has been telling me from the get-go that I should do some vids. I’ve never liked the idea before. I don’t like being in front of people- even over webcam- HOWEVER I am gonna post my very first video on my FB page tomorrow!!!
Nothing fancy. Super simple. But hey, it’s a start. 🙂
Thanks for the encouragement, Sarah!
Rachel, such a great post and so encouraging. I loved your thoughts about “presence verses presents.” Lots of wisdom here! Thank you!
Thank you Leslie! I appreciate you stopping by. 🙂
great tips for the overwhelm. I’m a week behind and have to speak twice in three days – so I’ll pretend Christmas begins on Sunday and take it from there! otherwise, i won’t sleep then everyone will be in trouble.
Haha! You make me smile, Sue! 😉
Go with God, friend! Thanks for stopping in.
Such a good post. Earlier today I said in a phone conversation very similar words, “You can do it all.” We need to prioritize and realize that not every good idea was meant for us to do. Enjoy what you can and let go of the rest. Otherwise the entire season will be frustrating and the true meaning lost. May you an yours have a blessed month!
I completely agree, Joanne! Priorities. I don’t want the true meaning of CHRISTmas to be lost…
Many blessings to you, as well! <3
Great post, Rachel! We often are rushed through one of the most meaningful seasons for the Christian Faith. Great reminders! Merry Christmas!
Thank you Patricia! Blessings to you and yours this Christmas!
It feels so great to know that I am not alone right now! I loved the question you asked…Is it mine to do? I have slowly come to the realization that not everything is my calling. Not every good project or well meaning gesture is intended for me to be a part of. When I put that mindset into practice, it was amazing how easily I could walk away from things. Thank you for sharing your heart!
Summer, I like how you said that- not every good project or well-meaning gesture is mine to do. Truth!
I’m still learning to say no to things that aren’t mine to do. It can be challenging at times, but it really does help to free me up for other things that ARE mine to do!
Thanks for the encouragement. Merry CHristmas!
Timely post! My home sounds like yours! And that is what is lacking right now, sitting at the feet of Jesus. Focusing on Him and being in His presence. Love the presence and not the presents. Great post.
Thanks so much, Sheri! Trying to be a Mary in a Martha world. 😉
Hope you have a wonderfully restful Christmas season! Thanks for visiting today. <3
“Do What You Can, and Ditch What you Can’t.” NEEDED to hear this today, thank you Rachel! 🙂
So glad it helped you, Megan! Thanks for reading. 🙂
Do what you can. Ditch the rest AND the guilt! I love it! Thanks for reminding us to keep things in their proper perspective and enjoy the season.
Absolutely, Donna! Guilt-FREE! So glad you dropped in today. 🙂
Yes, me too. — Wonderful post, Rachel. Thank you for sharing what God shared with you. Love the “presence vs. presents” focus. Creative and so very insightful. Thanks for sharing. May your family have a blessed advent season. ((hug))
Thanks Brenda! You’re always so very encouraging! I appreciate you. 🙂
Wishing your family health, love and peace this Christmas season! <3
Fantastic post. I especially liked the questions to ask about your to-do list. I make two lists. One I must do and one I would like to do if time permits. Maybe I should burn the second list. HAHA Love your decorations. Sharing on Pinterest.
Thanks Maree! You made me giggle. 😉
Glad you stopped by my little corner of the web today. Blessings to you and yours this season <3
What a great post! I loved every bit of it! My favorite parts were “ask myself is this mine to do” and, of course, presence vs. presents. I already feel better about the holidays!
This is so perfect for this season! I tend to get very overwhelmed during this season! Thank you for all the helpful tips!
Hopping over from the Trekking Thru link up
Blessings,
Amy
Thanks Amy! I typically do too. This is a good reminder for myself as well. 😉
Traumatic life changes have truly changed my perspective this season so I’m taking it one day at a time. I’m remembering to slow it down and smile. Rushing won’t get me there any quicker, I’ve realized that patience will get me there just as quick and it’s necessary for all-around peace. I’ve chosen you for this week’s Salt & Light Feature. Thank you so much for sharing!
Words of truth, Natalie.
I’m praying for your family as you navigate the season of heartache during the season of joy. I can relate to what you are going through. Praying God’s incomprehensible peace over you, as you take time to simply enjoy the little things. May you find rest and joy at His feet.
I am honored that you would choose to feature my post this week.:)
Blessings to you & yours this Christmas. <3
The overwhelm is unbearable some days. I’m ready to ditch it! Thanks for sharing with the Literacy Musing Mondays audience.
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